Life

People often tell me it takes a special person to work in hospice, I think that is true.  I also feel like working in hospice is one of the most special places a person can work.  Sometimes I think it sounds weird to say that I love my job when talking about working with people who are dying, but it is true, I love my job.  I love the people I get to meet, the stories I get to hear, the precious time I get to spend with families as they say goodbye to their loved ones.  Even though I know people a short time, it is such a vulnerable time in their lives that often I get quite close to people.

I have been working with the most amazing individuals lately.

I am working with a 93 year old woman who is terminally ill, she is probably one of the sweetest people I have ever met.  She has an optimistic attitude about everything, even about dying; she tells me this is just a gift that God gave her.  I was brought to tears talking to her about her life.  She talked about her sweet husband who died at age 50 of a heart attack, they were married for just 26 years.  She never remarried. As she talked about her husband who she had been without for 40+ years I couldn't believe the love she still had for him and how highly she talked of their time together.  She discussed all his wonderful qualities and how good he was to her.  Even though she had been with him for only a small portion of her life, you could tell how much joy having found true love in life had brought her.  I reflected to my sweet husband who is truly the best thing that has ever happened in my life and I too am grateful to have found true love.  As she spoke about her husband, I could relate to her on so many levels and it made me realize how lucky I am to have such an incredible companion in life.  I hope I can always value my time with him and realize how special it is well into my 90's.
This same woman talked about what a feminist she was and how she loved to work.  She worked until she had children at 27 years, which was late for her generation, and she loved it.  When her children were in school she wanted to go back to work but her husband didn't want her to.  He felt that her working would make him look bad; that he couldn't take care of his family.  She stated this was the only time she went against his will and she went to work anyway.  She truly was a feminist in her day, she worked because she loved to!  I can relate to this as well, I just really love my job and I love to work.  I love my time being a mother as well, but I really love what I do for a career and for me I am happy to balance the two to find happiness in life, just as this sweet woman did.

I have also been working with a woman who passed at 105 years.  She was alert and oriented until the end of her life.  She was sweet and pleasant and full of spunk.  She joined a bowling league when she was 80 years old and played for 18 years!  Unbelievable, right?  What a lesson in life to know that it is NEVER too late to do anything or try something new.  No age is too old to try something new.  I hope I can always follow my dreams and have the spunk and sweetness that this woman did.

I am currently working with a patient who is the same age I am.  This has truly been difficult for me.  Working with older individuals is much easier, as they have lived life and had many experiences and dying is the next step in their journey.  Working with someone who is my same age is terrible, it feels that he is being cheated out of so much.  He is a sweet young man who is a refugee in our country, who has not had a great life and has been separated from his family for well over 20 years.  I am humbled to work with him.  Every time I think of him I cant help but count my many blessings.  I have had such a good life; I have such wonderful family and friends.  I have never gone without.  He is full of faith and his belief in God gets him through these difficult times.  He has really been declining as of late and it has been difficult for me.  We have become close, good friends, and now when I visit him I find myself fighting back tears.  He tells me how he talks to his mother on the phone as she cries to hear the condition he is in; it pains him that he can not be near her when he needs her most.  I am not sure why God gives some so much and others so much trial and hardship, it hardly seems fair.  I am grateful to know my dear friend, he strengthens me and helps me have faith.  He is an example of strength and courage.  I am lucky to know him and grateful to be on this journey with him.  I am grateful that when I think of him I cannot be anything but grateful and blessed for the life I have, that is abundant with love, joy, freedom and opportunity.

I could go on about the amazing families that care for their parents with dementia, the funny things some of my patients say, or other sweet stories about things my patients have accomplished in their lives, but I wont.  I just wanted to get these stories down, as it has been an emotional month at work and I needed to get my love and gratitude for what I do, and for the people I get to meet written down.