Diversity

It turns out that Berke and I have been having some much deeper conversations about more complex societal issues now that he is 5 years old.  So many things have been coming up for my sweet boy and it has been great to have some of these good and sometimes tough conversations with him.

Berkeley goes to a very diverse preschool, he has 21 kids in his classroom and most of them come from countries all over the world.  He has children in his class with the name Oksana, Nyasiah, Fekendy, Ousman, Metkel, Amrit, Sha'nelize, Abhisri, Harsh and Darshley.  These are not names that any children I went to school with had in predominately white Utah.  I love the preschool he attends because there is so much diversity; Berkeley can clearly see that his skin is a different color than his friends, but he also has learned that he can laugh, play, learn and be friends with people who are different that he is.

Recently Berke came home talking about how at school they are in different groups and how Issacson and Nyasiah were in his group.  "Mom, they are different than me.  They have brown skin and I have peach, but its okay." His teachers have done a unit about countries and their flags to touch on where all the kids in the class are from.  Berkeley has loved learning about the different countries and their differences.

Berkeley saw the Lego Movie this weekend with his dad and friend Travis.  Berkeley told me that Abraham Lincoln was in the movie and I asked him if he knew who that was, which he replied that he was a president.  I told Berkeley that he was famous because he ended slavery, to which, in true Berkeley form, asked, "What's slavery mom?"  I couldn't believe how hard it was to explain this to my sweet and innocent 5 year old who has many dear friends with brown skin.  I was so ashamed of our countries past; I didn't think he could understand.  I didn't do a great job of explaining, mostly due to feeling so uncomfortable, but told him that we used to make people with brown skin work for us for free, but President Lincoln made it so that they had to get paid for what they did.  

I really am interested in how you might handle this situation, how do you explain slavery to a 5 year old.

Besides race being a hot topic at our house, so is gay marriage.  Most of you know that Christian and I are in support of gay marriage and have many gay friends.  Berkeley has his Auntie G and Aunt Steffy who he loves and adores.  It is just hitting him now that they are two women and are married.  When we talked about his Papa getting married, I explained that it was just like when Auntie G and Aunt Steffy got married.  I was surprised that his response was, "No mom! Girls can't marry each other, only a boy and a girl can get married."  This was certainly not what we had taught him but what he has observed, as all of his friends have a mom and a dad.  I took this opportunity to teach him that marriage is between two people who love each other; sometimes it is a man and a woman like mommy and daddy, and other times it is two women or two men.   

We recently got an Save the Date for our friends Jeremy and Jeff and then had them over for dinner.  We told Berke that we were going to their wedding in October and had the conversation about gay marriage yet again.  A few weeks later Berke was playing with his lego guys and he said, "Mom, these two guys are married.  It's okay for two guys to get married you know, just not three guys."  It was a proud parenting moment for me that he had accepted this at age 5 and was incorporating it into his play.  

I love that my little boy is exposed to so much diversity, with race, socioeconomic status, age (with our neighbors and my job) and gender.  One of the things we most want to teach him is to love, be nice and respect all those that are different than him. I feel that we are giving him these opportunities and that because he is exposed to these issues at such an early age it is natural for him to love all those around him.