Boston Marathon Tragedy

The first year we moved here I was obsessed with the Boston Marathon; I was amazed at the athletes.  At that point in my life I didn't think I could run over 3 miles tops, but I was a great cheerleader indeed. Marathon Monday is one of my FAVORITE days in Boston.  The entire city is excited to go and cheer on the thousands of runners who train so hard through the winter.  It is truly unifying and inspiring on many levels.  

Since my first marathon watching experience, I myself have become a runner, not a marathoner (yet), but have developed a love of running in this great city.  Often I run around the Charles River and am in awe that I live here and get to run surround by so much beauty.  I have gained so much more appreciation for the time and dedication of all the marathon runners take to be able to complete such a task.

I remember running my first half marathon and how I realized how mentally challenging running was on top of the physical challenges.  I was overcome with emotions when I crossed the finish line; feeling so proud of myself and a sense that I could do anything.

This year I was not able to be at the Marathon due to having important work obligations.  I made sure to send my boys with our friends, because they had to represent and cheer for all these people who had worked so hard.  I watched the start on TV with one of my patients as she reminisced about cheering her son in law on in the past.  I get so psyched up for these runners and motivated for what runs I want to do for the year.  I was super bummed to not be at the marathon this year.  

I was at work when Christian texted me about the explosion. He kept sending me links and pictures and I was in shock.  He and Berkeley and most of our friends had been watching at mile marker 19 about 7 miles away from the explosion; luckily they were all safe at home when the explosion occurred.  The more I watched, the more I couldn't work.  It was the same paralyzing feelings I felt when 911 happened except this time it was down the street and way too close for comfort.  I had to leave work and be with my family.  I drove home listening to press conferences on the radio and was so shaken.  I ran into my home and hugged all three of my boys who were on the floor playing car city.  We all embraced in a huge hug, even McDuff could feel the urgency of a family snuggle.  I was never more thankful to be with my family all safe and sound.

I couldn't help but think of the poor runners who did and didn't get to finish and how mentally this would effect them.  How it would effect the Boston Marathon's in the future.  It made me want to get out and run as a statement to say, "Screw you!"to whom ever did this.  My heart broke when I saw pictures of a sidewalk splattered with blood, where just hours before were happy people cheering on family and friends. I felt unsafe just driving on the road.  I just wanted to be with my family, but I couldn't tear myself away from the TV, until I did.

Words cannot express the love Christian and I felt through the enormous amount of texts, facebook messages and likes that our family is OK.  There were many calls and e-mails as well.  So many people thought of us, and were worried for us, it was amazing the way they can reach out through social media to show their love and concern.  I am still overwhelmed by the love everyone sent and still sends to us.  I love how our close group of friends sent out a group e-mail to get a "head count" on everyone; every body responded so we knew our closest friends were all safe and sound.    Even though we are physically okay, mentally we are fragile, as I'm sure many of you are.  I cannot think of a way to really put into words how I feel; there are so many emotions and I find myself crying at songs,  at the radio and watching the news constantly.  I see pictures of that  8 year old boy and I reach for Berke and just hug him so tight.  

Just after Berke was born I took him to his first marathon. I remember heading to the finish line in the afternoon with some friends to check out the action there.  It was a bit shocking to think that 4 years ago I was close to where the tragedy hit yesterday; where many people took their children this year.

We are pictured with our friends Kate, and Berke's good buddy Soren.

(while I hate this picture of myself, I think it speaks volumes about the power of running)

 Here they are again the following year at our normal viewing spot for the Marathon in Newton.

And yes, they were together watching the Marathon again this year.

For now I just pray and cry and that is how I am mourning this tragedy.  I wish I could do more.  But we are okay, we are together and luckily our friends are all okay.  Our city is sad but strong; Boston is not a place for the week in heart.  We will continue to be strong and love our families and neighbors.  

I will also keep running, in honor of those who may not ever be able to again.

Easter in Utah (Part 2)

 Half our time in Utah was spent with my Dad and the Taft side of the family.  Berke loves staying with Papa Taft because he has a huge theater in his basement with every channel of cable one could ever want.  All he wanted to do was stay there and watch shows.  B spent a day with Papa Taft going to the Aquarium, watching shows and watching more shows, while I went out with my Gram and Aunt shopping in Park City.  I even got a girls night out; we saw Chitty Chitty Bang Bang at the Hale Center Theater.   We had a fun time hanging out with family, going shopping, going out to eat and going shopping some more and then eating some more.

This is my great grandma Utella, Berke's great great grandma.  It's pretty amazing B gets to meet her and so is she!  We love her lots.

 Berke loves his Papa Taft and was happy that Papa turned off the "Alarm Lady" to let the Easter Bunny in to drop off the basket.  This was very concerning to my boy.

 The Easter Bunny did visit us at Papa's house and brought Berkeley lots of candy and other fun goodies.  After the basket we colored some Easter eggs, B ate the marshmallows out of his lucky charms and we got ready to go to Gram's for Easter Breakfast. B was pretty happy to have lucky charms 3 mornings in a row at Papa's house, he never gets those at home.

 Did I mention that I got to meet my dad's fiance, Hope?  Yep, my dad is gonna get hitched.  He finally found the right lady for him.  It was great to get to meet Hope; she seems like a really sweet and lovely lady and I look forward to getting to know her better in the future.

 Berke and Auntie Nean.  She is the best auntie, we love her lots!

 Gram and Nean got the boys Easter Baskets too!  This kid did not lack in Easter candy or goodies from baskets this year.  Isn't my Gram the cutest?  I love her lots and loved seeing all the additions she made to her house.  

Gram, Berke and Gage, these are her two great grand sons, handsome little devils, right?

Gage is so good with Berke and Berke just loves Gage!  It really is sad that Berke doesn't get more cousin time.

I love hanging out with the Tafts, we always have a fun time.  Gram and Nean are my best shopping partners and I always find way too much good stuff when I am with them.  Good thing I always bring an extra suit case to store my goods.  

Berke loved getting to see all his Utah family (minus the Kirwan clan), but was a bit overwhelmed by all the people.  He said to me, "Mom, there are just a lot of Grandmas and Grandpas." It is true, B is lucky to know so many great grandparents that love him so much.  What a great family he has on all sides.

We had  a blast, but came home completely exhausted.  We went 100 miles an hour in Utah on little sleep; it was well worth it for all the wonderful times and memories!

Easter in Utah (Part 1)

Berkeley and I flew to Utah for an Easter visit with the family.  It was a quick visit of 4.5 days split between my mom and dad's family, so sadly I didn't get to see many friends. 

I tried to split the time between my mom and dad's family evenly so we can see everyone; as fun and wonderful as it was to see everyone, it was also pretty exhausting.

 

We had a wonderful time with my Mom and Dad and this crew.  I have 3 adorable nieces and 2 handsome nephews.  It was so fun to meet my newest niece Oaklee and see how big and grown up everyone else was. Berkeley loved playing with his cousins so much.  It was so precious to see how well he clicks with them all and loves them so much.  He and Tristen became best buddies and loved doing everything together.  Those boys are only two weeks apart, and while they are very different in personality, they loved each other so much.

One of the reasons I wanted to go to Utah so badly was to get to spend time with both of my Grandmas.  It was wonderful to see them and spend some quality time with them. 

 

My mom planned an amazing Easter Egg breakfast and Egg Hunt on Saturday.  She spoiled her grandkids something fierce with Easter Baskets filled with goodies and 40-60 eggs per child.  She knows how to throw a fun party!

 

Four Generations

Great Grandma Lucile, Grandma Karen, Mommy Laci and Berkey Boo



Boy cousins are the best!

I loved getting to snuggle with cute little Oaklee.  

Berke and I had a great time going to the Tracey Aviery with the family, decorating cookies, playing at Jungle Jims and having sleepovers with cousins.  Berke asked if we could stay in Utah forever; he didn't mind all the love and attention he was getting that is for sure.  I am forever grateful we could  make the trip to Utah this Easter and spend time with my family.  Sometimes I just miss them so much.  While the time was short, it was worth every second.



Maple Madness

We drove to Mason, New Hampshire to visit Parker's Maple Barn.  It's Maple Tapping Season here and New England and that means we have reason to leave the house while there is still snow on the ground.  Berke was excited to have a "science day" and to get to hang out with his buddies Q and Hunter.

 We indulged with some amazingly delicious maple donuts; folks, I'm pretty sure these are 10x better than apple cider donuts.  They are so stinkin' awesome!  Even my son ate one, and he usually wont eat anything but a chocolate donut, so that alone tells you these donuts were no joke.

 We enjoyed our tour of the Maple Making Barn.  We learned about how they tap the maple trees, what the ideal weather is to get the most sap, how they evaporate the water to get all the sugar from the sap, and about how they grade the syrup.  It was quite informative, and while we have done this tour before,  this was the first year Berke would hold still so that I could actually hear what they were saying.

 Parkers is still kickin' it old school, not quite up to date facilities if you will, but I think that is why everyone loves going there so much.  

 Once the maple trees are tapped they catch the sap in buckets like these.

 Our friend Wendy just moved here from Seattle, so we brought her along to see why the East Coast is SO much better than the West Coast.  

The delicious breakfast full of maple syrup, a Maple Frappe, and Maple Walnut Pancakes did not disappoint.

Thoughts

Thought #1 on Kid movies

It is harder to entertained a small child in the winter than the summer.  Due to this unfortunate circumstance we have sadly watched a whole lot more movies than I would like to admit to pass the time away.  Here are my thoughts on the recent kid shows we have watched:

Wreck it Ralph: This is Berke's all time favorite show at the moment.  It is all things a boy could hope for, video games, good guys, bad guys, race cars, candy, etc.  This is a really show with a good message (although I think they could have brought it home even better).  I will say that it does have a few scary parts about big scary flying bugs.  Overall I think this is a very cute show and Berke watched in 5 days in a row, so it is clearly a winner in his book.

TIN TIN: This is an adorable and well animated film.  I loved this more than Berkeley, but he still enjoyed it.  It follows a mystery writer on a journey that involves a pirate ship and hidden treasure.  TinTin also has an adorable side kick dog, so I was instantly in love. I would highly recommend this film.  I would say it could be scary to overly sensitive children as there are some scary bad guys.

Escape From Planet Earth: I took Berke to see this in the theater as a little date, it was funny and cute, but not something I would ever need to see again.  I give this a C rating.  I felt like it was too difficult for Berke to follow the plot line, so may be for a little older crowd.

HOP: This is a classic favorite from last year, but it is an Easter movie, so I thought I would throw it out there.  This may be the STUPIDEST movie ever made, but my kid LOVES it.  While I give it a D rating, Berke would give it an A, and has watched it numerous times.  If your kid likes bunnies that can drum, are silly and poop jelly beans, this is the show for them!

Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory: We introduced Berke to this show recently (the old version, as it is the best) and he LOVED it!  Berke is in such an imaginative state right now that I think the movie was a perfect fit for him.  Every time something happened to one of the children he called it an "emergency" and was very concerned about what happened to all those kids in the end. Other than that he couldn't stop talking about the movie for days.

Thought #2 on living space

Most of the time I love living in the city.  I really live in the coolest place ever, you wont be able to talk me out of that.  The East Coast is something special and has captured my heart the last 5 1/2 years.  But  sometimes I just want more space!
It is upsetting to me at times that we pay the same (if not more) amount in rent for our 2 bedroom apartment that many of my friends/family pay for their mortgage for their big house.  I get overwhelmed that we are paying so much for so little and very a very old run down apartment at that.  I get frustrated that our closets are so small that the closet that holds my clothes is in Berkeley's room.  I also hate that there are huge heating radiators take up a ridiculous amount of space in each room, making it terribly difficult to arrange the furniture in more ways than one.  I hate that our office is our dining room!  I mostly hate this because the office is Christian's work space and there are papers, scores, books, post its, messes EVERY WHERE!  It can be annoying that because the paint is so old in most of the rooms that no matter how hard I scrub the walls they still look dirty.  It irks me that our kitchen is so small that when we sit down to eat my chair blocks the fridge, so if we need to get something out I have to move out of my seat to get it.
But, no matter how much this place bothers me, I ABSOLUTELY love our old, expensive less than ideal apartment. I love the neighborhood we are in and all the neighbors that have become like family to us.  I adore this home as it is where Berkeley was made and brought home to; he has lived all his years here and there are so many memories of him in this space. I enjoy being close to so many parks, so many dear friends and within walking distance to the T (subway).  I'm attached because this has been our home for over five years.
I often think to myself, is it better to live in a small apartment but in a really amazing place?  Or is it better to have space so you don't go crazy, but a less cool place?  What are your thoughts on this?
I really want to have my cake and eat it too, I would love to be in a three bedroom apartment, just to get this office out of my "zen" space, but the rent is $2500 average for such a place and there is no way we can afford that!  At times I think, "It doesn't pay to be middle class." In many was I know this to be true, but in others, it is pretty cozy in the middle class and really, why should I complain when others have so little?
You see how I am rambling?  That is because these are my thoughts; you see how my brain works?

Thought #3 on friends far away

I feel quite lucky to have such an amazing group of people in my life that I call friends.  I really have some amazing friends close by, I'm not sure what I would do without so many amazing people to help me out in so many ways.  Even though I have such wonderful people near by, I often miss all the friends that I have moved away from or that have moved away from me.

Whenever there is a move there are always promises made, but rarely kept about how visiting will happen.  Visiting out of state/country becomes too difficult with vacation time and money, then throw in the need to visit family and it just doesn't often happen.  

There are days I wish I could drop everything and fly to Seattle, Wisconsin, North Carolina and Utah and just hang out with all my friends.  That's all.  I miss certain people that I used to see regularly, I miss having them be a regular part of my life. I love picking up the phone after a few months and picking up where you left off.  I love that good friends are always by your side even when they are not. I love all the amazing people who have influenced my life for the better, near or far.  I especially miss those far away today.

These are the things on my mind as of late.  What is on your mind?

Winter Getaway

Boston advertises itself as a city with all four seasons, but I have to disagree.  Spring here often feels like a blink in time.  Today is the last day of winter and it snowed, not only is that depressing but the news of more snow in the forecast is enough to make me go a little coo coo.  I'm not a fan of winter and muster my way through each year trying not to get depressed and anxious for warmer weather.  I often use my vacation time in the summer, as I want to use it to be outside soaking up the sun.  That is not a great thing when winter hits and there is just more and more awful snow and cold temperatures, with no  breaks for sanity to return. 

Last year we did a weekend getaway to New Hampshire to a fun and quaint hotel; during the offseason they have good deals on the rooms which include breakfast and dinner each day as well as a pool, ping pong, billiards and karaoke. We decided to go there again this year; Berke remembered the hotel and had been asking to go back all year, so we did. 

It is so good for me to get away.  I actually relaxed this weekend, which is something very hard for me to do.  I worked a 1/2 day on Friday so we could drive up in the day light and miss the traffic.  Berkeley loves hotel rooms because they have cable TV!!!  

We had a wonderful time together as a family, we spent a lot of time in the pool, which we mostly had to ourselves.  It was lovely to have the outlet shops down the street; nothing is better for my soul than a little retail therapy.  Christian let me use his piano student money for the week to buy me some new clothes; I love that man!

The sneaky leprechaun tracked us down to our hotel room this year on St. Patrick's Day.  

He left Berke with some golden treasure and a cute shirt.

We also did some driving around the lakes in the area.  This place is a serious summer town, but it is kinda fun to see the town totally shut down for the winter.  It is still beautiful.

We found an amazing restaurant on our adventures called Tavern 27 in Laconia, it serves tapas that were so enjoyable.  My favorite was a cheese and garlic flatbread pizza with a honey glaze on top, it was DE-LISH!  I love a fine dining experience. 

A trip away was just what my soul needed.  I loved spending so much quality time with my family swimming, eating, playing ping pong, "teaching" B how to play pool, telling each other stories, listening to a book on CD and watching the Disney Chanel and ESPN.

While the snow continues to fall here in the Spring, I will continue to dream of flowers and walks outside without a coat and gloves. I know it is coming soon, it just has to!

Ice Skating //week 4//

Berkeley had his 4th lesson this weekend.  It is more than impressive to see the progress this little man has made in 4 short lessons.  

If you remember, his first lesson was spent laying on the ice, kicking and screaming hysterically to 

"Get  me off the ice!"

Each week since then, B has been ever so brave and tried his hardest at this sport called ice skating.  This week he was actually skating on his own!!  It is not a gracious glide just yet; he is able to skate on his own and even go around some cones.  He was able to skate from one side of the rink to the other all by himself.  

 Be had the most adorable teacher this week.  His regular teacher hurt her foot this week, so B got a new teacher who was amazing with him!    I'm so proud of my little guy.  

B has one more lesson left and then he will be done.  

Christian and I have now decided we need to learn so we can take him, as we don't want him to lose his abilities after all that hard work.  Looks like we are gonna try (try being the key word here) to be a little skating family.  

For date night this weekend Christian and I are going to try to skate and see how big of fools we can make of ourselves.  Hopefully it doesn't go too bad.  

 Auntie G came to B's lesson this week to cheer him on.  She clearly left very impressed with this cute ice skater.  B loved having his Auntie there to show off for.

 We are so proud of our little boy.